From Air Traffic Controller to Entrepreneur: Emma-Louise Parkes on Harnessing Your Unique Energy for Successful Career Change

In this episode of the Changeology podcast, I chat with Emma-Louise Parkes, coach and founder/CEO of The Ambitious Introvert.

Emma-Louise shares her inspiring story of leaving a highly respected, well-paid career as an air traffic controller to start her own coaching business just weeks before the global pandemic hit. She opens up about the doubts, fears, and "what ifs" she faced, and the pivotal moment when she knew it was time to make a change. We delve into the challenges of transitioning careers, the importance of self-trust, and the support systems that helped her navigate this massive shift. Emma-Louise also shares her expertise on introversion and addresses common misconceptions about introverts, and explains how introverts can manage their energy effectively to support them best through times of big change. She discusses the impact of overstimulation and the importance of creating space for reflection.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone considering a major life or career change, especially if you're an introvert or highly sensitive, or feeling overwhelmed by the fear of starting over. Emma-Louise's story is a testament to the power of following your gut, understanding your energetic needs, and creating a life that aligns with your values.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

🌟 How to overcome the fear of leaving a stable career and pursuing your passion. 

🌟 The importance of self-trust and how to cultivate it when making big decisions. 

🌟 Strategies for managing energy as an introvert and/or highly sensitive person, especially during times of change. 

🌟 The power of a solid support system, how to find the right people to help you navigate a big change–how to tune out the noise.

🌟Why reducing overstimulation and creating space for reflection is crucial for clarity and decision-making. 

🌟 The importance of patience and having realistic expectations when pursuing big goals.

Connect with Emma-Louise:

https://theambitiousintrovert.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmalouparkes/

https://www.instagram.com/emmalouparkes/

https://theambitiousintrovert.com/podcast

If you want Meg's support during your significant change, you can apply to work with her here.

Want to learn more about the art, science, philosophy, and psychology of making significant life changes? Sign up HERE for my weekly newsletter and have the Changeology podcast delivered straight into your inbox!

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Transcript

Welcome to the Changeology Podcast. Today I'm delighted to introduce to you Emma Louise Parks, my good friend and coach, and the founder CEO of the ambitious introvert.  She's brilliant and she's thoughtful and I'm so happy that she is our guest today.

0:39 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  So welcome to the Changeology Podcast, Emma Louise. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to be here. Thank you. And I'm so excited with all the discussions we've had about bringing the podcast into the world that here it is, it's happening.

0:52 - Meg Trucano 

  Yes. And thank you for holding my hand and guiding me through it. So Emma Louise is my coach and she has  has helped me bring this vision to life. So as you know, the Changeology Podcast is all about making big, bold, badass life changes.  And you have one of the most badass life slash career change stories I've ever heard. So it's incredibly inspiring.  And I know the audience listening is going to agree. So you left a very highly respected, very highly paid position as an air traffic controller.  You start your own business six weeks before the global pandemic hit.

1:41 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  Correct. Sadly, I'm not that psychic, maybe little bit, but not psychic enough to know that that was coming. But interestingly, I always say to people, had I known, I probably wouldn't have left.  So the timing actually was perfect. because if that had happened, and I'd still been in that job, which I had at that point been in for 17 years, I'd been in aviation for 23 years, the whole of my adult working life.  And I think if I'd have seen the sheer chaos that happened, you know, as we went in lockdowns, as we didn't know what was happening, it would have been harder to walk away.  So while the first 9 to 12 months after that very challenging for me, I'm kind of glad.

2:33 - Meg Trucano  

  Yeah, I'm throwing you into the fire. So tell us about your experience, you know, as an air traffic controller, what it was like, you know, like me, a lot of people might not ever have had the pleasure of talking with somebody who is an air traffic controller.  And then what initially caused you to consider making a transition away from that career.

2:58 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  Okay, great questions. who I fell into air traffic control by mistake. I always say, of course, you know, there are no coincidences, but I did not go through school going, Hey, I want to be an air traffic controller.  I went through school going, I want to leave school so I can travel. And that was pretty much all I was interested in.  So the first job that I got when I was 18 was as a flight attendant, because I figured that's how I can travel and earn money at the same time.  So I started that in 1998, that whole, you know, role and, you know, the aviation industry all went through huge change in 2001 because of September the 11th.  So I, you know, went through all of that, see the changes in security, the changes in how we dealt with people on board.  And I was already kind of like, I'm bored now, I get bored very quickly, and I used to make that a bad thing.  I now don't think it is. I think it just means that I need to keep growing and seeking. So  I was already like, I don't want to be living out of a suitcase, I'm kind of bored of jet lag, I've seen lot of places, I'm ready for something else.  And a girl I was flying with, I'd never met her before, it was the first flight we'd ever done together, it was her last day.  And we, you know, of pitched in and bought her a gift, probably perfume, you're quite limited on flights as to what you can buy someone.  And I said, Oh, yeah, it's not the best location for shopping, but I said to what are you going to do?  And she said, I'm leaving to be an air traffic controller. And I was like, Oh, that sounds kind of interesting.  I heard, obviously being into the flight deck many times, taking in drinks and meals. And I'd been in take off and land in a warm the headset.  So I'd listened to the radio and I'd heard all of the instructions and it sounded like gobbledygook. And I actually remember thinking, Wow, I could never do that.  Oh, yeah, yeah, totally. Never mind. I didn't go to college. I never can. I'm not academic in the slide.  I don't consider myself academic. I'm not I'm not a good student. I'm not good at the traditional subjects like math, science.  So that was just something that seemed like, wow, so out of reach. And this girl was doing it. I was like, well, she's just like me, which I think is really important when we're looking at making big changes or doing when we see someone like us do it, we get expanded to be like, well, this is possible.  She's just like me. So I went home after that flight and my partner of the time was a pilot.  Obviously we'd met at work and I said, oh, this girl today, she's leaving to be an air traffic controller.  I think it sounds really interesting. I might I might write to them because we were doing applications online at this stage.  I might write to them and find out about it. And he went, oh, no, don't bother. I applied times and they didn't take me.

5:55 - Meg Trucano  

  you've got no chance. Did that piss out?

6:00 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  I remember that was one of these pivotal moments in my life and I was like, okay, let's see. And so I wrote to them, I probably sent a typed out CV and filled out an application form because this was like 2001.  And got an interview and I went through the interviews and it was the weirdest experience. I had to answer all these weird psychometric questions.  I had to do all these tests about like exploded dice.

6:31 - Meg Trucano  

  it was like a dice laid out flat and like if you put this dice into 3D, what would it look like?

6:36 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  all this stuff, I was surrounded by all these maths graduates and engineering graduates. And I had what I would call high intention, but low attachment, zero attachment to the outcome of this interview.  And I went through all three stages and I got selected, I got a letter. And I got selected, so I was like.  Well, I guess I'm going to give it a go then. And I lived in Manchester at the time, which is the north of England.  And I had to move to Bournemouth in the south, right on the south coast of England to train. And my boyfriend said, don't want to live down south.  So I had to make a decision, and I chose to go for the job. So I started in 2003.  I did three years of training, the hardest three years of my life. And many people, including people that have your master's degrees, PhDs, everything say that that was harder than their college because it was so emotionally draining and such a steep learning curve for the whole three years.  And then, yeah, that was it. I call it in 2006 and thought, great, I've got a job for life.  I'm never going to do anything else.

7:47 - Meg Trucano  

  So initially, were you, were you pretty into it?

7:50 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  Like, were you, Oh, yeah. Oh, so into it. And, and you know, this is a pattern. I'm not going to call it a toxic trait.  This is a pattern of mine. where I'm very into things at the start when I'm learning. So I noticed it with the airline, like when I was doing a training course and learning something at the start, that was great.  And I did another couple of like casual jobs because my airline work was seasonal. So I would take a casual job in the in the winter, maybe at like travel agency or in a state agency, I would say real tea.  And I used to love the initial like I'm learning and it's new. And then I would be like, yeah, whatever.  But no, I was so into air traffic. And I was I was 26 when I qualified, I was 23 when I joined.  I was one of four females on my watch of about 85 people when I joined. And I would say I was incredibly proud because I guess I'm not academic.  I don't come from a background where people have these big successful jobs. It's not anything I ever thought I'd do.  And I was like, why? Oh, I've done and I've done it, know, I've worked through, I've done it, and yeah, I was, I was very into it, I loved it, I still love aviation, you know, I love the way with aviation, we see all of the different aspects work together, you know, from someone arriving at an airport, to arriving at the other airport and picking up their luggage and all of the different pieces that go into it, I still find it fascinating to this day.  So yeah, and even when I left, you know, I cried when I handed my notice in and I did not hate my job, you know, we hear many entrepreneurs who are just like, hate my job and I just, you know, quit to start a business because I couldn't deal with it.  I still loved doing my job, it just wasn't the right thing for me to be doing.

9:44 - Meg Trucano  

  That's so interesting. So what was the, what was kind of the original spark that made you think, hmm, maybe I don't really want to do that anymore.

9:55 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  I think there were, when I look back, there were probably three or four different, things that converged together. So when I qualified, I did a couple of years consolidation, and then I qualified on another piece of air space.  same job, different rules, different geography. So that fed my learning. Again, I was learning something that was novelty. And then a couple of years after that, I got selected to be an instructor for new trainees.  So I had to go and do a week long course to learn how to coach and train these people.  then obviously I was getting trainees. that was new and it was different. And I was getting into part of my knowledge.  I was great. I got trained as a facilitator and I used to host facilitation between controllers and pilots. So we would host a day of facilitation where they could ask each other questions and appreciate each other's role.  So I was on this real growth track of doing all these different things. And then a couple years after that, I suddenly wasn't, I'd done everything that I was going to do.  There was there was nowhere else to go. And I was like, Oh, okay. And around this time, I woke up one morning, I couldn't move my neck, a real pain in my neck.  And I didn't know what it was. And it linked for a few weeks. And I ended up seeing a specialist and getting a scan.  And I had a trapped disc in one of my vertebrae. And it wasn't a big deal. had some physiotherapy.  I did some lattes. it got cleared. that was 2014. But it led me on a real health kick. And it led me to really look up, you know, what I was eating.  I got diagnosed as dairy intolerant. Then I went down this whole like learning about nutrition and health coaching and taking some courses and certifications because I love to learn.  And that put in my mind, like, would I like to coach? there were those few things might really do anything about it.  And then in 2018, I woke up one morning and I couldn't move the left side of my body and I could barely get out of bed and I had to call a taxi to get me to the hospital because I just couldn't move and they scanned me and it was the same thing could have occurred but on the other side and much more severe and I had two discs that were trapped and one was disintegrating and I had to have a couple of surgeries on it and you know one of the things that became clear in talking to the surgeon and the physiotherapist was that doing my job was exacerbating it because they said like show me what you do at work and of course I sat at work station that was designed for the average male and you probably don't know this because you've never seen me in person but I'm five foot one and a half so trying I was constantly like my neck up like this and one of the consultants said to me we can fix you this  it's time, but if you keep doing this, it can go and you could, it could go the way that we can't repair, you could end up with paralysis, you could end up with chronic pain.  And I really had to think then like, do I want this job? Do I want to do the job enough to risk that?  I was 38 at the time. So there were a lot of different things. The spark had already been kind of put there about coaching.  I loved instructing. That was the part job that I really enjoyed. I loved personal development. I love, you know, improvement.  I loved learning all of these things. So that's when I really started to consider that maybe I will do something else.  So it was January 2019. I went all in. I hired a coach. I set up the business registration and then 12 months later, in January, 2020.  I left. I handed my notes in the November and left in January.

13:58 - Meg Trucano  

  That's insane. That is That is really interesting though, how you described this kind of cycle that you noticed in yourself after the fact of being really interested and engaged in a new aspect of your job or a new initiative that you're learning about, and it's very motivating and exciting to you.  When I think back to my own experience as well, I had that same thing. would get a project directorship where I would get first author on a paper or something, and I would get this little hit of excitement and motivation, it would sort of kick the can down the road of making this big change that I wanted to make.  So I'm curious, you know, it sounds like there were physiological things going on as well, so can you walk me through what your kind of internal dial of was, at the time you were kind of crafting your exit strategy?

14:59 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  Like, what were you thinking? thinking about. I was thinking about, this sounds very shallow, but though with me, I was thinking about my pension and my benefits.  It was a great pension and I knew because of the rules that if I left, even if I left and went back the following week, I would never get those same benefits again because that was an old pension scheme that didn't exist.  So it still sits there as a deferred benefit. I still get it when I retire, but I can't add to it.  And it's only ever going to be 50% of the value of someone that's done a full career there, right?  So I thought about that. I never didn't have any business experience. So my dialogue was like, what if I'm not any good as an entrepreneur?  I was fairly confident that I was a good coach. I mean, there was still a lot of imposter syndrome around that because I'd never coached outside of my  company other than you have some friends and friends of friends, but something was like, well, okay, I ended up coaching instructors and traffic controllers, but am I going to be any good at anything else?  So am I a good entrepreneur? Am I a good coach? Is this worth giving my pension up for? Am I making a mistake?  What are people going to think of me? Oh, that was a huge one. So just for context, because people probably listening and well, you know, yeah, people leave jobs, like that's the thing.  No one left my job unless they were retiring or they were going to do it somewhere else, like Australia or Dubai.  Like literally, it's a job that people didn't leave. I handed my notice in, my line manager had been a line manager for 15 years and he said, I don't know what to do with this.  I need to contact because I actually don't know what to do with a resignation letter. Because it's never happened.  Because it's never happened. for oh my gosh and I cried when I handed it in and I'm not much of a cry but again just to like reiterate I wasn't like thank god for that I get me out of here I was like this is the next step that I need to take but like actually doing it he was like are you sure and I was yeah and he but he'd seen the pain I'd been in with my neck and everything and he was like you know I get it I do get it but are you sure and I was like yeah crying and yes I'm sure you know so then like the what will people think I had to give a three month notice period and what I really didn't want is that I could spend three months almost justifying what I was doing to people which I managed to keep it quiet I think for about two months but about a month before I left everyone everyone found out and I remember one guy saying to me yeah I was really brave because I mean you'll never run as much as you earn here and that instantly I was just like  Yes, I will because I was already in that personal development world. I've been doing the money mindset work. They took me a couple of years, but I matched that salary and then went past it.  that was very much the thinking people were like, this is, you will never get another job that pays as well as this.  alone start your own business and make that kind of money.

18:20 - Meg Trucano  

  Yeah. of all, that's not one but two gentlemen that you have soundly kind of told off in a way.  But two, this is kind of a common thing I find with particularly women who are going through big career shifts.  it's, oh, you sure? Because, you know, and it can cause real self-doubt. Like, am I making a huge mistake here?  So, was there ever a moment where you thought, , maybe I shouldn't have made this decision.

19:00 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  At the time, I did have a slight safety net because I'd managed to get a consulting role with another air traffic service provider in Switzerland that was on a freelance basis, because there is a global shortage of people that can train air traffic controllers, so if it's a license and a skill you have, it's a pretty good one.  And I quite liked the idea that I could go to Switzerland maybe four days a month, still do this instructing.  I still love to aviation, I still do. And that would cover my bills and my mortgage and great, like anything from the business, it's above and beyond that.  So I had that kind of safety net, which was whipped from under me six weeks later, because I had to be repatriated back to the UK, so it's long-closed its borders and we went into a lockdown.  So I think it would have been, you know, I know some people say just like leap and the net will appear, but also I have a mortgage to pay that's solely  In my name, I'm, you know, financially responsible for myself and have a husband or anyone to have to me.  So, you know, there are considerations, so it is a big move, but I did try to try to do something to mitigate the risk, but no.  And I always knew it was the right thing, even though my head might have gone and given them a little bit of credence.

20:23 - Meg Trucano  

  My, my gut was just like, no, it's time to move on. Okay. Yeah, I know, I know a lot of people struggle with that, that sense of self-trust, especially when it seems like or feels like the rest of the world, or especially like family members, or people that they really respect, colleagues, voices in the field that they're in, they might, you know, have a differing opinion or they might have, you know, some well-meaning, but critical things to say.  I know that that self-trust can, can really kind of take a hit. Oh, okay. You have quit your job.  You have started your own coaching practice. So what kind, and you had your safety net that was kind of ripped from me, so in between the time that you sort of started your practice full time, and when you kind of became, when you realized for yourself that you were absolutely, I'm going to nail this, this is going to be like, and you're confident in that.  What support did you have during that time frame? And if you didn't have the support you wish you would have had, what would that have looked like?

21:44 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  Oh, great question. So I had joined a year-long group coaching program at the previous January, which was really about setting up the business, and standing marketing sales, social media.  I didn't have social media. idea at all. And I was 39 by the time I was doing this. So not quite a light, but get in there.  And it was a big learning curve. Everyone was, you know, dancing around on stories or, you know, writing hooks.  I didn't know what email marketing was and what funnel was. I literally knew how to coach and that was it.  So it had this big learning curve in that group program, which kind of didn't didn't equip me. It maybe wasn't the best fit.  But what was really great is I found a great support network in there. And there have been two live retreats during that, that I'd met people in person.  So I had probably three or four people that were either in a similar position to me or a little bit further ahead that I could lean on while I was going through it that I didn't feel stupid.  didn't feel like I was behind. I could ask them about something marketing related because I didn't have anyone else around me.  that was an entrepreneur that would understand these things. So that was one level of support I had. And that level of support actually got me my first paying client.  Someone in a Facebook group that wasn't a member of asked for recommendations for a coach. And when she said what she was looking for, two or three people put my name because they recognized that would be a great coach.  And we had this week. Oh, that was a wonderful client. She was a client for six months, during lockdown.  And then she came back about a year later and was a client for a year. it was serendipitous, but again, like great support.  But the other thing that I had was a one on one coach who I really respected. I had listened to her podcast.  had, you know, consumed all of her content. I knew she was the right coach for me. had to come on waitlist to work with her, but I knew.  And the timing was perfect. Like she had a space open up. a month after I came back from Switzerland.  So I was like, this is, this is so perfect. And the support that she gave me, I would say, was to be consistent and to block out the noise, which I think is so true.  Yeah, it's so true for anyone making any kind of big decision, not just starting a business. But for me, because I love to learn what all this course is and I tried to like over consume and do all this.  And then I made this commitment when I worked with her that not to give my agency power away, but I was only gonna listen to her.  And that's not to say I was gonna jump through, you know, hoop fire if she asked me to. I was still gonna keep my own decision-making, but I was only gonna go to her for advice.  knew what she was doing. She had the kind of business I wanted. She'd supported multiple other people. So I left memberships that I was in.  I unsubscribed from people's newsletters. stopped scrolling. social media, I did all this to say, let me focus, let me use my energy and stop being fragmented.  I know what I want, let me focus. So we began working together in the June, and it took a while, but when I look back, it didn't, I did loads of stuff.  started my podcast in the October, so that was pretty fast. And by the December, I signed my two first long-term clients that had come to me through marketing.  And I renewed to work with her for another six months by the March, I was fully booked with one-on-one clients.

25:38 - Meg Trucano  

  And by the April, I launched a mastermind that sold out twice over. That's incredible. That's absolutely incredible. But I want to draw the audience's attention to the thing that you said, which is you had to focus your energy.  So I'd like to kind of shift gears a little bit in this conversation. So thank you so much for sharing your interest.  inspiring change story. I think it's so fascinating to hear the details of which I hadn't heard before of all of the complex nuances that go into making some kind of a big change like that.  But I do want to shift gears and invite you to talk about one of your, you know, many areas of expertise, but specifically which is how to own your energy, especially as an introvert.  Now, you folks may not know, but there are a lot of misconceptions surrounding introverts. And I admit that I was, I was one of them.  It wasn't until I listened to your podcast that I realized that I was an introvert after thinking I was an extrovert for my entire life.  So what exactly is an introvert and how does that relate to energy?

26:55 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  Great question. So common as well that people like you and I that are generally confident people that will take action and do things, presume that they're extrovert, because of all the myths that are out there.  So the main thing that happens is people tend to put personality traits as introversion. So they say, someone's quiet, someone's shy, someone's anxious, someone's socially awkward.  They put that under the of introverted. When in fact, that's nothing to do with it, like extroverts can be shy and socially awkward, and introverts can be none of those things.  So introversion means at its most basic form, how you recharge your energy, which is alone, and how deeply you process information, which is very deeply.  So if we think about this misconception again of introverts in the meeting room not speaking up, and all the extroverts are...  shouting out ideas and the introverts don't speak and the manager thinks oh they don't have anything to add or they're too quiet, they're too nervous, they don't speak up.  Go to that introvert the next day when they've had time to deeply process what they've been hearing and they will probably come up with an idea that will blow everyone else's idea away.

28:20 - Meg Trucano  

  That's been my experience too since I sort of embraced my natural inclination towards introversion which is, you know, as you say, recharging your batteries alone or with kind of like time to process and time to think deeply about things.  So how do the energetic needs of introverts differ from extroverts?

28:47 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  I think lockdown was a really great example of this, I have a good friend that's very extroverted, she literally gets her energy from being around other people.  So lockdown for me, was and we had a long and very strict lockdown here in the UK. know parts and states were different, had masks and didn't, some were stay at home, some were life as normal, but in the UK we had months and months of lockdown which was very strict we could leave the house once a day, everything else was closed, supermarkets were open and essential things.  I was like, oh it's kind of annoying that my local coffee shop is not open, but oh well, that was the extent for me.  For this friend it was incredibly challenging on her mental health because she got her energy from being around people, she would be out on a Friday night, out on a Saturday night, hosting dinner parties, being around people and that's not to say I don't love those things, but I prefer to do them one on one or with a smaller group of people, which we could still do, but you know big group gatherings, she would  I have to be in a really, really vibey bar, know, music going and stimulus and all of that and none of that was available.  So that's the biggest difference. Think about the person who Friday night, you know, end of the work week, wants to go out and be around people and be on noise and bustle because that's going to energize them after a busy week.  And think about the other person, hands up me, who wants to go home, eat takeaway on the sofa, take a bath and not talk to anyone until the next day.

30:31 - Meg Trucano  

  Yep, cuddle with your dog or cat and exactly. Exactly. canceling headphones for those of us who have small children.  Yes. Okay. I know several of my, the close group of friends, girlfriends that I affectionately call my workwives from my corporate days and about half of us are introverts and about the other half are extroverts and I noticed the same thing during lockdown where.  The extroverts were really suffering and you know, I hated it, of course, for all the obvious reasons But I was okay, and I didn't feel in fact I actually I found ways to lean into it little bit.  That's when I you know started my art practice and and kind of Leaned into some of those things that actually really helped me restore my energy.  So it was not as bad for me but For those listening, what would you recommend as maybe if this is a new concept for people how to Energetically support themselves Through some kind of decision to make a big change and kind of through that change Well, I have a sneak in suspicion that your audience will be very similar to my audience in they're gonna be high-achieving they're gonna be action takers and

32:00 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  Very likely overthinkers, just because you and I both are, so So what I the biggest thing I would say like that you could go oh in a perfect world You would spend hours alone each day as an introvert.  Look if you have a family That's not gonna happen if you're working in a really place if you have a commute It's likely not gonna happen But if you are in this position where you're considering a big life change whatever that is I I would say reduce your consumption.  It's so easy for us to over-consume things and you know guilty here because you probably heard now I love to learn and love to take on information I used to drive to and from work listening to podcasts because I would get that I would go on a walk and listen to podcasts I would exercise at the gym listening to podcast.  walk the dog listening to put and one day I have to go I'm not giving myself any space My brain isn't thinking or even like relaxing to make  the connections of everything that it's absorbed. I've got all this information in my head and it doesn't make any sense and then just trying to cram more in there and it's not actually useful.  So however you look at it, whether you look at the kind of lack of mental stimulus as being relaxing, whether people look at it as being creative, because creativity is just connecting those ideas that we already have in our head in a new way that we haven't seen before.  Or whether it's tapping into something like God or the universe or your own intuition, you need silence for that.  I don't mean like going to it, like put your noise count and headphones on and no one can make a noise, but you need to be processing your own information and not taking in other people's input.  Drive in silence, go for a walk in silence, walk the door, it feels really  uncomfortable at first and a lot of people hate it.  But then they go, oh, I had this great idea while I was walking. Yeah, of course you did because you're not cramming.  more information into your brain, you let it breathe, and now it can do what it's meant to do.

34:05 - Meg Trucano  

  That's such good advice. Earlier on, you were talking about overconsumption of as an entrepreneur advice on different marketing strategies and how to do this and the best way to do this, and people are trying to sell you things, that's one kind of overconsumption.  I know I'm very, very susceptible to, but also the same, you know, what you described is very similar to me.  would go listen to podcasts on my commute. I would read a self-improvement or personal development book like every couple days, and it just, it all, it got to the point, and it still to this point where I struggle to remember who said what, and so I'm a big believer in attributing ideas to the people that generate them, and so for me, it became really difficult to do because it has so much stuff.  in my head. And you have also in the past and possibly currently still work with highly sensitive individuals as well.  And so that's one thing that even since I was a kid, I cannot have noise. Noise is my number one trigger for getting really kind of upset.  So I wouldn't ever listen to the radio or listen to music or anything on my on my drives. I eventually got to listening to podcasts.  But then I kind of just backed off of that. And it's like my world opened up.

35:38 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  It was it's crazy how effective that advice is. We get very overstimulated and high sensitivity or HSP is enough system condition.  Some people class as neurodivergence that you know there mixed reviews on that. you know, take the science and do what you want.  But ultimately, it's about 25% of the population. And I never system. is just more sensitive. So I think people hear high sensitivity.  know that I used to hear that and think, oh, someone that's emotional, they're just gonna start crying and everything.  They're really sensitive, you know, they're gonna, you can't say anything to them because they're gonna feel criticized. Nothing to do with that.  All to do with our nervous system. So any kind of stimulus on the nervous system is gonna be more heightened for these people.  So yeah, noise, like you say, am extremely photosensitive. Nothing will set me off like an awful light.

36:32 - Meg Trucano  

  And I'm sat under an awful light.

36:35 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  I mean, that I'm done for the day. I get a headache, I'm in a far mood. Things like not drinking enough water or going too long between meals as well is gonna have a bigger impact.  We just don't have the kind of sensitive resilience of a nervous system. And I think the biggest indicator of whether you're highly sensitive is if there's like a seam in your clothes or a seam along like the top.  ooze of your sock or an itchy label, if you literally can't deal and that, like, you can't do anything while that's happening, that's a good sign that you're highly sensitive, there is an actual quiz, I will say online.  Dr Elina Aaron, if you look her up, she has a high sensitivity quiz, but for me, it's those things that I talk about on my podcast and people message me and they go, oh my god, this is me and it's, it's the big lights, the seams and the clothes.

37:25 - Meg Trucano  

  Oh my gosh, yeah, and just a little less to things and like, I cannot focus on what you were saying because there is a tag rubbing me the wrong way.

37:36 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  So, oh, funny.

37:39 - Meg Trucano  

  Well, Emma Louise, thank you so much for for sharing your story and your expertise with us today on the Changeology Podcast.  But before I let you go, what's, what's one thing you wish you could tell your former kind of pre-career change self?

38:00 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  Oh, I would tell myself to look at the long game. I had very immature and unrealistic expectations of how quickly I could grow my business.  And the pandemic may or may not have affected that, but I am naturally a very impatient person. It has been, I would say the work the last five years, if you'd have met me five years ago, I was incredibly impatient to the point that I couldn't stick to things.  That's why I was consuming so much. I was looking for the magic bullet. was constantly focusing on what I didn't have and what I hadn't had.  And I still had a pretty good mindset compared to most people. I was doing the work, but I was just so frustrated all the time.  And business has taught me to be patient. it's taught me that things don't come instantly, but the right things do come.  And now I'm in a much different place of wealth. I'm in business forever, so if that plant doesn't sign up this time, they can come back in six months or a year or three years because I'm still going to be here and that's fine.  So I wish I could have given myself more grace and understood that everything I was doing was working, but just because I couldn't see it instantly working, I had to trust that it was all adding up and I feel like I've probably coached around this.

39:26 - Meg Trucano  

  Now you have a hundred percent multiple times. I think it's a really difficult concept to internalize. You can understand cognitively that, yeah, of course, every little bit helps and you're building something, you're creating a foundation, but when you especially consume, as you've noted, like we both had over consumed, these other people that we just assumed are getting these instant perspectives.  And, you know, as you've coached me before, not really, like, I'm sure that they had a whole long run up to it, you just didn't see all that part.  So that is definitely an excellent thing to keep in mind. And I'm with you on learning the patient thing.  That is my lesson here on Earth, too, I think. I've been in patients since I can remember. But, Emma Louise, how can people find you?  Give us your two-minute spiel.

40:31 - Emma-Louise Parkes

  Oh, my two-minute spiel. Okay. Well, if you have enjoyed this episode, then you'll probably love the ambitious introvert podcast.  We are just approaching our five-year anniversary, so there's over 200 episodes to go back and binge on. I've got solo episodes, I've got mini-tradens, I've got interviews with amazing guests, and it's probably the best place to hear more conversations like you and I have had.  can also find me at my website, theambitiousintervert.com. I'm on LinkedIn and Instagram at Emma LuPox.

41:03 - Meg Trucano  

  Wonderful and we will have all of those links down in the show notes for folks who want to get in touch with Emma Louise.  Thank you so much for your time today. It's wonderful to see your face again and I look forward to connecting with you offline and thank you so much for tuning in to the Changeology podcast.